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Hey there, LJ. Been a while. I started escorting about 3 weeks ago, and it's joined the ranks of "Why The Fuck Didn't I Do This Sooner?!" Not only have all 6 of my clients so far been delighted by my services, scratching me behind the ears and telling me how much they needed whatever it was my mouth or ass gave them, but I made enough money to not panic and help out a bunch of friends who are all struggling with rent right now. I also bought a car, which I needed to do anyway, and needed my dad to co-sign for, since I have no reportable income, but this makes me not worry about the payments until I can start working again.

On a not so awesome topic: law school. I realized Saturday morning, around 10:30, that I had a final at 8am that day. I e-mailed the Dean that I was bed-ridden and ill, but haven't heard back. I have commented before, or else had it commented to me, that I tend to sabotage things on the verge of success. Robert O'Leary posited that my missing the midterm in Crim Pro was a subconscious attempt by me to fail out at the last minute. I dismissed it out of hand at the time, but now it doesn't seem so implausible. Or else I'm just really scatterbrained when it comes to dates, and just didn't think to check these things. I'm still thinking it's the latter, but I guess it could be the former.

In mixed news, a trick of mine from a few months back, the one who a) posited that I might be borderline and b) did meth in front of me, but was perfectly lucid, and had no problem getting hard or cumming, hit me up the other day with a simple message that just said "i want to fpuvck you again" Except the sn was different, the profile pic was just a torso, and the info said "drugs often." I tried to hook up with him, but several hours of trading messages, and it clearly wasn't happening in any time frame I could work with. I was delighted, because I really liked him the first time we fucked, but also saddened because he was sort of my poster-child for people who could do meth recreationally and still function. I am still confident that people can, I'm just shifting the odds in my head.

I hooked up with another guy and his roommate this afternoon, but spent most of the time with the guy. He clearly falls even easier than I do, because he kept saying that my eyes were trying to tell him something, or reach out to him or something, and proceeded to tell me his life story after. A trick from a while back took me out to dinner after we fucked, and when I mentioned that I was staying single forever, he queried whether I had a problem with people falling for me. I wasn't sure how to answer, both because his question has two meanings, and because I don't know. I crave that affection, of course, but I want it from everyone, and it wouldn't be fair for me to get it from everyone without being exclusive to everyone. I clearly need to get on with my quest to make an individual Me for everyone, and have us all share a collective consciousness.


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September 2017

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