Epiphany
Hit the ground running at work - got all my case offers out, a bunch of appointment orders in, all my mail done, and claims. I happened upon Princess Parking in the morning, which made it all the easier to get home quickly. What didn't make it easier were the people who tried to cut me off, then flipped me off for not letting them.
Julian texted me right as I was getting home, asking if I was going to the gym. Unlikely. I laughed with the nurses at the dr, then played on my phone while I waited for the doc.
Schmerber had shaved his beard, but is just as gorgeous as ever. It's been several months since I'd seen him, and absence does indeed make the heart go wander. But damn if his very presence doesn't take my breath away, filling the sudden vacuum with swirling ghosts of possibility. And obviously brings out my inner awful teenage poet. I think he likes me, but I also think he's primarily interested in me as a patient. A patient who is possibly a little less fucked up than some of the others he sees, but his interest in me is humanitarian.
I swabbed myself, but didn't keep track of which tubes were for my throat and which were for my butt. The nurse tried to examine them for any clues, but I apparently did too good a job getting cleaned up. Go me!
Hit the store on the way back, picked up food, creamer, and booze. Julian was passed out on the guest bed when I walked in, which was weird. I petted Lady Miss Friday - she's getting more comfortable with me, if very slowly. My phone rang a couple times - the single best thing about not having an ad up is not having to answer random phone calls. One of those calls turned out to be Julian's mom, and she left a message damn near hysterical over not being able to contact Julian. I woke him up, which was enough of a chore that I worried he'd taken pills, or had alcohol poisoning or something. He freaked out when I finally did wake him, repeatedly thinking it was the next day despite my telling him it was 7.
Julian got drunk, Ursula came over, I made dinner. She's vegetarian now, which is great. Julian was profuse in his compliments for my cooking, which was nice. I was tired, so not much of a conversationalist, but it was a good time. About half way through, Julian called his mom and went outside, frequently yelling. Lord. Ursula asked to take the leftovers home, and I gave her them plus the rest of the tortillas. About $7, including the proportion of spices and such to feed 3 people well with leftovers.
Couple takeaways from the night, mostly regarding Julian:
Julian mentioned to Ursula that he likes "insanity" in his life. I guess this isn't surprising, and I'm not sure why I didn't make that connection before. I've heard about people who actively try to create strife in their lives, who work towards crisis. I just don't know what to do with it.
He's slowly started mentioning how much he drinks, and how that might be a factor in....well, everything. But he's also still blaming being German. He also complained that I (meaning we) don't go out to bars anymore, but subsided when I pointed out it's because I don't have the money to pay for two people.
He was wasted early on, though this didn't stop him from drinking more. When I set the taco fixins out for everyone to make their own, he whined, child-like, for me to make his for him. Again, everyone who knew that on some level, some part of his failure at adulting is intentional take one step forward. Not so fast, Squeak.
Most of Julian's yelling outside centered around Rachel calling his mom a bitch. I'd be a lot more sympathetic to this being the kind of world ending rage if I hadn't heard Julian do it himself. Also, laying in bed later, Julian wondered aloud how much more he could take. Over someone calling his mom a bitch. It's possible he could be thinking of that as the straw that broke the camel's back, but I don't think so. It's far more likely that he's focusing on this instead of a lack of job prospects, social skills, thousands of dollars in debt, eviction and alcoholism. I guess we all do that in some form or another.
Julian texted me right as I was getting home, asking if I was going to the gym. Unlikely. I laughed with the nurses at the dr, then played on my phone while I waited for the doc.
Schmerber had shaved his beard, but is just as gorgeous as ever. It's been several months since I'd seen him, and absence does indeed make the heart go wander. But damn if his very presence doesn't take my breath away, filling the sudden vacuum with swirling ghosts of possibility. And obviously brings out my inner awful teenage poet. I think he likes me, but I also think he's primarily interested in me as a patient. A patient who is possibly a little less fucked up than some of the others he sees, but his interest in me is humanitarian.
I swabbed myself, but didn't keep track of which tubes were for my throat and which were for my butt. The nurse tried to examine them for any clues, but I apparently did too good a job getting cleaned up. Go me!
Hit the store on the way back, picked up food, creamer, and booze. Julian was passed out on the guest bed when I walked in, which was weird. I petted Lady Miss Friday - she's getting more comfortable with me, if very slowly. My phone rang a couple times - the single best thing about not having an ad up is not having to answer random phone calls. One of those calls turned out to be Julian's mom, and she left a message damn near hysterical over not being able to contact Julian. I woke him up, which was enough of a chore that I worried he'd taken pills, or had alcohol poisoning or something. He freaked out when I finally did wake him, repeatedly thinking it was the next day despite my telling him it was 7.
Julian got drunk, Ursula came over, I made dinner. She's vegetarian now, which is great. Julian was profuse in his compliments for my cooking, which was nice. I was tired, so not much of a conversationalist, but it was a good time. About half way through, Julian called his mom and went outside, frequently yelling. Lord. Ursula asked to take the leftovers home, and I gave her them plus the rest of the tortillas. About $7, including the proportion of spices and such to feed 3 people well with leftovers.
Couple takeaways from the night, mostly regarding Julian:
Julian mentioned to Ursula that he likes "insanity" in his life. I guess this isn't surprising, and I'm not sure why I didn't make that connection before. I've heard about people who actively try to create strife in their lives, who work towards crisis. I just don't know what to do with it.
He's slowly started mentioning how much he drinks, and how that might be a factor in....well, everything. But he's also still blaming being German. He also complained that I (meaning we) don't go out to bars anymore, but subsided when I pointed out it's because I don't have the money to pay for two people.
He was wasted early on, though this didn't stop him from drinking more. When I set the taco fixins out for everyone to make their own, he whined, child-like, for me to make his for him. Again, everyone who knew that on some level, some part of his failure at adulting is intentional take one step forward. Not so fast, Squeak.
Most of Julian's yelling outside centered around Rachel calling his mom a bitch. I'd be a lot more sympathetic to this being the kind of world ending rage if I hadn't heard Julian do it himself. Also, laying in bed later, Julian wondered aloud how much more he could take. Over someone calling his mom a bitch. It's possible he could be thinking of that as the straw that broke the camel's back, but I don't think so. It's far more likely that he's focusing on this instead of a lack of job prospects, social skills, thousands of dollars in debt, eviction and alcoholism. I guess we all do that in some form or another.