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Not quite as productive as the day before, but not anywhere near as bad as Monday and Tuesday. There were bagels and later an ice cream party for one of the law clerk's last days. I had a couple bagels, but no ice cream. Iced my finger and leg all day, the leg is feeling better, the finger isn't making as much progress as I'd hoped. One of the young gents who had previously had designs on moving out to SD and staying with me while he got on his feet messaged me. He's quit his job at McDonalds, almost gave a cam performer $300, and is depressed. I asked about a therapist, but they "can't fix the world." No, none of us can. But they can help you cope with it.

Towards the end of the day, Jeff messaged me, saying I should meet some friends of his. One I've been trying to hook up with forever anyway, and the other I've never seen before. He also thanked me for asking after him earlier in the week. He'd gone to coffee and lunch with Jesse, but Jesse opted to go home instead of coming back to my place, and got kind of weird about it. I've previously offered Jesse a place to stay, but since he's been crashing with friends for almost a year or more, I want him to have some kind of plan in place before he does. Jeff agrees there's more going on there than Jesse lets on. Jeff wanted to get him naked, but both of them were "insanely tired." In another giant step for Squeaks everywhere overcoming anxiety, I told him I'd rather he not trick in my apartment without me there. Apparently the start of our fucking a few weeks ago was squeaked Squeak telling him "I'd like to have more sex with you." I vaguely recall saying something to that effect, now that I'm reminded.

We talked more when I got home, and then when I gave him a ride to Aidan's place. He's fine not tricking at my place. Doesn't want that momentary blip of silence while I get my emotions under control to come between us, even for that second. Which is pretty insightful, really. Also, he and Bryan *really* don't like each other. One of the guys he wants me to meet up with tricked with Bryan at my place (I'm not attracted to Bryan, so idgaf), and thought it was Bryan's place. So when Jeff said he should meet "me," and gave my address, he declined to meet up with the "neurotic twink who had to change his clothes before they could fuck." I'm arguably neurotic, but I've never been a twink, and I rarely change my clothes at all, much less needing to do that to trick. Jeff apparently started laughing while the guy was still inside him at the confusion.

It was a little awkward, because Jeff was very clearly very very high. *Dripping* sweat, pupils down to pinpoints, furtive movements. I wondered if he wasn't doing a Hover impression for a bit. And I wondered if that's what it's like to talk to me when I'm drunk and/or high on music.

My next stop was meeting a visiting boy off Scruff for coffee. He'd woofed at me earlier in the week and unlocked pics, but didn't actually want to hook up. He plays the oboe and didn't mind my leaving the conversation to go pet the saggy pit bull outside. He couldn't remember where he'd parked, but needed cash back anyway, so we walked over to Walgreens where Kenneth is now working.

Tim asked to come by with Pupple but ended up sucked into watching Iron Fist with Bryan. This suits me fine, as I really just wanted to lay down with Lady Miss Friday. I gave Pupple his cheese, a couple treats, and a belly rub but then retreated to my room. I got cleaned up and despite a frightening amount of blood when I started, seemed to be fine later.

Don scheduled me for 9, lives out past Friars on Mission Gorge. Google maps decided to die a couple times on the way, but I knew the general direction to go. Also some confusion on parking, but we finally got inside. He doesn't fuck bare, and has a habit of biting when he kisses. But he was happy and I came for him, and there was no blood. Another satisfied fan.


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September 2017

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