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2017-07-14 05:43 pm

Kickoff, Kick To The Curb, Whatever

Last day of everyone's vacations, first day of Pride. Maybe shouldn't have done the double coffee again, but didn't really have a choice in terms of keeping my energy up all day/night. Scheduled things with Brad, my new friend from Alta Dena who was staying with me. He was driving down with some friends, but didn't have room to stay with them.

Warren asked if I could give him a ride home at the end of the night if he got a ride down, which is no problem. Years past, I've drank waaaaaay too much over Pride, missed a number of events, forgot others, etc. And I don't want that. Brad, for his part, caught on very quickly that I was dating Warren and kept a respectable distance. Even though we were fairly early, several people were already squeaked, including Matt and Nick, our hosts.

The party was fun. I managed not to drink, to chat with some people, and was generally have a great time. And then John showed up. John and Warren dated earlier this year, and Warren dropped me like a hot stone to hang all over him. That drink sounds pretty good right about now. Brad noticed, too, and moved in to talk more with me. When time came to leave for party #2, I was very ready to ditch Warren, but knowing that he was broke, gave him the option instead.

He left with us, and asked if his behaviour was a problem. Well, yeah. I don't know anyone who likes being ditched, and you definitely specified that I was your date. He was much more affectionate for the rest of the night.

Paul's party was...odd. Paul himself was very reticent and seemed uncomfortable, as did his dog. But Leeper was there with the boy he's dating - Oscar, and Justin, and Jerry, and several other older men and their sugar babies. It was an okay time, and a fine kickoff to Pride. I dropped Brad off at The Rail so he could attend DILF, then dropped Warren off at home. He didn't invite me in, but did suggest I leave some of the condoms he likes at his place so they'd be there. He vastly overestimates both how much I trust him and how often I take anything out of my pockets.

Based on 1) his behavior around John and 2) his not inviting me in, I decided to break things off with him again. Tomorrow.

I'd encouraged Brad to go to The Rail, partly because he was eager to do Really Gay Stuff, but mostly because I felt bad about taking so much time from Lady Miss Friday.
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2017-07-13 05:15 pm

It's Not a Drug!

At Chi Chi LaRue's suggested, I started following some guy in Florida. Apparently he used to work in porn, but then deleted everything and is starting all over again. I recommended a few places for him to apply, told the casting directors he would be. All standard so far, but then I suggested he apply with Tyler Reed, and it turns out he actually was already cast in Vegas, but he declined to go. Some of it was that he wasn't on PrEP yet, but also "all the guys were gross." I was maybe one of those guys, since I'd initially been declined from the shoot. But I was definitely a possible one. He seems to have changed his mind about me at any rate, and I got to talk to Tyler more, so hopefully I'll be able to go back and shoot again next year.

Sam, the client who is a fan of mine on Twitter, and who contacted me a while back about setting up a fetish scene with him as a sub. I'd initially contacted Jay to be the other boy. I've done Dom stuff before, but there's always been a lead, someone I could follow and play off of. I wouldn't know the first thing to do being a lead Dom myself. Jay was downright silent, so I sort of figured he'd be tapping out of the evening, and he did. And then I suggested a couple other schedules but he didn't respond. Who doesn't want $700? Other folk's schedules also didn't work, but I finally found one, who works at Mo's and has modeled for some of the same photographers I have. He was excited about it, though he was also a sub. I convinced Sam to just do a piggy, fetish 3 way, and he agreed.

Unfortunately, then he also tapped out, and we had to get yet another replacement, and he wasn't available until even later than the first guy. What can you do. I spent some time at home getting deep cleaned, because Sam wanted to get dinner first, walk around, then get down to business. Met him at Betty's, we had a really great chat, all considered, about the nature of escorting, and what it's like to come out. He has adult children, some of whom knew he was gay from a young age, and some of who didn't, but all of whom asked him to tell his wife once they all found out. And his wife apparently also knew, and is super cool with it.

We walked to Mankind next so he could get a paddle and a toy. I'm not 100% certain that my friends know I'm there with a client, but of course IDGAF if they do. The place he was renting was in South Park, kind of craftsman. He had to use my equipment to get cleaned up and I don't think he even closed the door for it. Which is weird, but whatever. Mike, our new guy, was supposed to be there by 8, and Sam kept going outside to look for him until he finally showed up around 9:30. This isn't actually bad, as my stomach decided to be wonky, so I spent that last hour and a half making sure I was clean.

Mike was almost definitely on G, but is a really nice guy. He fucked me bare, I fucked him bare, we both fucked Sam with condoms I'd provided, spanked him, etc. I'd only supposed to stay until 10, but given how late we started, didn't feel bad at all about pushing that back until 11. When I came, I shot over Mike's head and hit Sam in the face. Apologized profusely, but really didn't need to, as Sam was delighted. Bid him farewell, dropped Mike off at his place in East County and finally crashed next to Lady Miss Friday.
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2017-07-12 04:51 pm


Our longest day at work - Kathy, Din, and Lindsay were all out, which meant exactly double the amount of work. But we got through it. Also the day a lot of folks started coming to town for Pride. I happened to chat with Bill, a guy I'd met at a group thing where the host was crazy from drugs. We had a strong connection, and I invited him over again for after work. I'd hoped to get a video, but good fucking lord that stuff is hard to set up. I was still trying to get everything arranged when he knocked on the door and didn't want to take more time. He was fun, though not as attractive or as fun as I remember. Fucked me in a few positions, came, laid down for a bit then left suddenly. I worried I'd done something wrong, but he later texted to check I'd had a good time, so I guess.

Warren messaged me asking for Pride plans. Somewhere in being exhausted, I became wary (again) of his using me for my social connections so I was a little vague in responding. He mentioned that he'd talked to Glenn about how nice he was to let him be my +1, and Glen had invited him and said I had to be the +1. 1) That's exactly what I'm talking about, and 2) I already have several parties to attend, thank you.

When he asked if he could be my date to the Friday BBQ, I said he didn't need to, but he wants to. I felt a little better about the whole thing, and even gave the very definitive request for him to be invited as "the guy I think I'm dating. Or something."

Rehearsal went much better than previously. I certainly remembered more of it. Unfortunately, when it came to "I'm Every Woman" Joe doesn't want us to do doubles because not everyone can do doubles. I get it but also....good lord. They're doubles. Jenna and Jesus both asked for a ride home after, which is fine because they both live near me. And both needed to hear Dark Days, and a few other songs. Jesus is apparently 20, and possibly in a relationship with a much older, absent partner? I couldn't really follow the conversation. But I am, as always, amazed at how mature children are these days.
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2017-07-11 04:35 pm

If You Seek Scourge

I got a text from Dana that some of the cosplay scenes were online. I'm constantly amazed at how kind porn commenters are. I walked to the Civic after work and bought the 4 pack of tickets. Tim and Tony are the only ones confirmed to be coming, probably Tami and maybe Warren. Or whoever else I'm dating when that day comes, because lesbian.

Had a much better time at the gym, of course. Shane messaged me out of the blue, appanrently coming down from a meth binge. Naturally, I invited him over for dinner. And naturally, I spent waaaaaaaay too much time at the store trying to figure out what to make. Settled on rice and gyoza because dammit, I wanted gyoza for a while.

He'd said he'd be there around 7, so I hurried home, washed some dishes, got the place cleaned up. Richard and Bryan were both there, but I kept contact to a minimum. Apparently by "around 7" Shane actually meant "a little after 8pm." Okay gay time.

Bryan and Richard left shortly after he arrived. Richard had been drinking and left for karaoke, Bryan went....somewhere. We talked a little, watched the new Castlevania on the couch. But two months of meth binge is a lot to come down from, so I gave him a ride home by 10. I'm glad I got to see him, and I'm glad I set whatever kind of example I could by cooking and doing dishes for the same meal.
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2017-07-10 03:13 pm

How Long Can You Milk This

Crazy hungover and crazy randy all day. Even edged myself in the bathroom, which I hadn't done in a while. JJD came back, but now Din was out, so the workload didn't really let up, and is only going to get worse. I hit the gym, then reviewed "Mama's Broken Heart" at home, which is still terrible.

Mikey, the gent from Florida who discovered me through a scene I did with his ex, asked to call me, as though that's a big step. In fairness, I hate talking on the phone. I was early enough that I walked to rehearsal, and Mikey, who might have been drunkey, told me about some dreams he had. I had to cut things short once rehearsal started...though it turns out I needn't have, as RC is now saying he doesn't want dancers in the song. Good. I don't like it. Keith still asked us to stay around, so I did crunches on the floor.

Mikey talked to me longer when I got home and I finally begged off to sleep again. Even though I'd jerked off before, I did again. Great shots both times, and I really need to start filming these. They don't all need to be great, because some of them will be, and those are the ones I'll put out into the universe.
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2017-07-09 02:22 pm

Who's First

Woke up too early but laid in bed with Lady Miss Friday. Tim asked to come over for tofu scramble. Patrick, the nice Aussie from yesterday, also messaged me, though he'd apparently just jerked off. He asked to come over for scramble as well, and I said sure. In spite of my requests, the sink was full of dishes. And even the ones that had been washed were gross. I washed some dishes, started draining the tofu, and at the last minute decided to get cleaned up. Good thing, since despite having just jerked off, Patrick immediately fucked me on arrival. It gets *SO HOT* in my room. I think it's the single window, really. We had just laid down to take a break from fucking and Patrick asked when Tim was supposed to arrive when there was a knock on my door, because Tim had arrived. Patrick was surprisingly non-judgmental of the disgusting mess that is my living room right now, liked the scramble, then left for a pool party in east county (thanks for the invite?)

I didn't have any plans for the day, which is always weird. I went in to download the video from my shoot with Michael and found that Dave had cut off access. It's really nice to have free labor, but it might cost too much, tbh. FHA was just about to get out of his show and agreed to go to either The Hole or PECS. Ryan was having people over for pool and bbq. I appreciate that he invites me once I text him, but I'd rather he invite me to begin with. Saving money is good, so I asked FHA if he'd be down to do that instead and was surprised to hear he was not. I'd later find out that he does some research any time I invite him somewhere, and once I thought about it, Ryan is great, but does have some shallow, bitchy friends. Since I missed the last Bear Night, it's been roughly *forever* since I've seen him, and he got back to me first, so I kept it with PECS. He arrived just after I finished showering - I'd very nearly came handsfree while I was checking to make sure I was good - and we found really great parking.

Peter is in the show with FHA, but was already there and quite tipsy. The bartender bought his first drink but not mine, which, okay, not everyone is a fan of mine. One of the chorus members was sitting at a table with another guy who it turns out is the owner of Martini's Above 4th. He's a fan of Lindsey Alley, but she doesn't sell well enough to book her there. He might also book FHA's friend (and therefore FHA) for more shows, and might possibly book me for the wreath auction. I also happened to run into Brad and his ex, Jim. Jim was hypersensitive during their relationship, and it doesn't help that Brad is a big horndog with a big thing for me. I'm *exceptionally* charming when I need to be, so I nearly charmed us into a 3 way.

Before too long it was time to go home, though, so Aimee picked up FHA, I headed home, drank some water and crashed.
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2017-07-08 03:24 pm

I Make A Splash

Texted Warren in the morning - he'd not gone to sleep until around 3:30. I mean, I hadn't either, but I didn't have a twink with me. What had kept him up? Oh, just laid in bed.....Okay.

Had to get ready for rehearsal before Tim picked me up. I needn't have hurried, as he didn't arrive at my place until I was supposed to be there. I was a little late for it, and more than a little drunk. On the plus side, I saw an adorable husky puppy as I was walking in. Most people treat dogs like celebrities, as it turns out, it's just that it means different things to different people. Most people swarm them, reaching out to touch, etc. I hang back like a stalker. The puppy decided I was safer, so scooted back from everyone else to sit on my foot and lick my face. One of the other crowd members took a picture. Her name is Sapphire, because of her blue eyes, which...groundbreaking, but she was still adorable.

Berto hit me up again on the break, and apparently lives quite close to rehearsal. Thank heavens I douche 10x/day. He was fun, but had trouble staying hard, and I think he faked his orgasm. I certainly didn't taste anything when I was fingering myself. He dropped me back off at rehearsal for Raise Your Glass, which, while boring, isn't as bad as I remember it being.

Tim was running late from getting his dad's car, so I initially asked Warren to pick me up on his way, but he was also running late. I suddenly remembered that John lives in Uptown, so I asked him for a ride home instead. In the spirit of inviting people who invite me places, I'd asked Paul if he wanted to join for the Divorce Party. He called me, and despite my telling him several times that I couldn't understand what he was saying, just kept talking. I finally hung up and texted him instead. Tim made it back with my car, but then got absorbed into watching Star Trek, or whatever it was.

Amazingly, I managed not to drink much at the party. And it was an okay time. Nelson, who is normally blunt to the point of being a jerk, said I was stellar in the last SDGMC show. Also commented on Warren's bulge and butt. A lot of people commented on my moving quickly, which....yeah. And a *lot* of people asked me if he was my boyfriend in the way that meant they wanted me. One guy in particular, Patrick from Australia, was pretty into me. He'd previously mentioned he was attracted to me at Paul's last party, but was also very very squeaked at the time and quickly moved on to someone else. It was strange, but not terrible being with Warren. It turns out he doesn't like saliva, so he doesn't kiss or suck dick. The no kissing is a problem. Like...a big one. He's more than a little stoic, but would sometimes hook a leg around me to bring me closer when we were in the pool or similar.

I tried to get us going around 7, which was the start time for the Bear Pool party, but Warren was having second thoughts on going at all. At 8:15, Dave messaged me, very upset I'd broken my "promise" to be there. My text to him said "I should be able to go!" I don't think that's semantics, but he does and ended with "fuck you." It's so hard being popular.

I got us a Lyft back to my place because the sun takes so damn much out of me. Tim was still there, I introduced them and headed to my room. Warren said he was tired, but I noticed he was also hard. Also, I didn't fuck him last night, and I'm not doing this bullshit again with someone. He didn't spend the night, which makes absolute sense. I was even more tired than I thought, so I crashed out next to Lady Miss Friday.
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2017-07-07 01:19 pm


Since Keith asked me and Ben to come for an extra rehearsal, and Lady Miss Friday isn't wild about me rehearsing in my room, I decided to just stay after learning various dances. The videos are very very hard to follow, so props to everyone who is able to do that.

I got a text from Keith that he was running late, sent my condolences and stopped at Target to look for the Bareskin condoms that Warren asked for, and also try to figure out what to make for dinner(s). Naturally, I couldn't decide on anything and wandered around the store for hour. Maybe more. Browsed rainbow stuff, because I'm not married to my outfit, even though I've already bought it. Didn't see anything, and was short on time anyway.

Waited at home for any word from Keith, but then got a group text saying "well, unless we hear from Eric..." Called him directly, and it turns out a bunch of the group texts hadn't gone through. Grrrrr. He doesn't live far from me, and really just wanted to go over the middle of Single Ladies, which I already have down. So.

Back at my place I wrangled with Warren over the night's plans. He wants to check out Numbers early, but then go to Flick's and Rich's. I haven't been to Rich's in well over a year, and with good reason. But Warren is 22, and Rich's is a very very 22 establishment. Just before he got to my place, he asked if a friend could join us. Um...who's the friend? Noah. That's not what I was asking and you know it. It turns out it's Noah from Paul's place, and almost worth it to have him along to see Warren's doubletake by my already knowing him.

We walked over to Numbers and got there waaaaay early. Like...too early to even pay cover. Todd talked to me for a while, as did a couple of the other people setting up, and I get the feeling they'd have been asked to come back later if they hadn't been with me. Once the night did start, I bought Warren's drink for him, did a shot with the bartender. I met Warren's friend Regi who dances at Mesa. I also found out that my first dance teacher, Jan Ellis, died a couple years ago. That was sort of an unexpected bombshell. They did a whole concert in memorial, which I'd have liked to have been part of, but probably couldn't have anyway.

Warren and Noah left to get stamped, but I'm a big boy and can pay my own cover these days. I probably should have walked, actually, as it would have slowed my drinking down. I stayed talking to a very very drunk Shaun, which slowed me down anyway. And then Julian started messaging me, which only intensified how weird the night was. I also ran into Berto and Rizzo, two of the soloists from the last SDGMC show. Berto wants to sleep with me, but we never got around to it previously. Warren and Noah came back fairly quickly, all considered, and then signed up for Lube Wrestling. I took photos, someone else took video. Another guy there is a professional, which was really not fun at all to watch.

Once they got cleaned up, we walked over to Rich's. My night gets a little fuzzy from there, but I bought one drink (now $10), danced with Warren, and introduced him to some friends. Weirdly, it's only *being* at Rich's that's a blur, because I remember getting home and chatting with Richard, listening to music, drinking water, and finally going to bed.
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2017-07-06 05:19 pm

I'm the center, but not the sole inhabitant

Bryan caught up with me about his appointment that he'd managed to keep. Apparently Sunburst is very very full, as no one leaves there before they have to, but there might be an opening through a church in a couple weeks. Still much longer than I wanted, but okay. I sent both of them a message letting them know 1) I had a client after work, so they needed to not be there, and 2) even though they're not going to be at my place much longer, it would serve them both *very* well to be more aware and considerate of the people around them. It took Bryan a month from being asked for him to finally do his dishes, when he shouldn't have needed to be asked to begin with. Both of them have woken me up in the middle of the night, and possibly the neighbors as well, with TV or voices. How are you unaware that people can hear you? How are you so unconcerned that neighbors will complain and we'll all get thrown out? Richard sent an apology for "his transgression" which tells me he didn't actually read the message, just saw something critical and started kicking himself.

On the plus side, I was a total rockstar at work. Tons of claims done, tons of case offers, all the mail, etc. No workout, unfortunately. Warren asked me if I wanted to go to the AYCE vegan thing...but he doesn't have any money, so I'd need to pay for both of us at $20-30 each. Nah, but we can have dinner together tonight. Oh, would I be cooking for him or taking him out? He also doesn't want to fuck me bare, but doesn't like the condoms I have, so wants me to buy his preferred brand. I'm not really sure if he's just spoiled or trying to play me for a Sugar Daddy. He accidentally came while edging, which isn't a deal breaker for sex, but put a definite damper on things.

I got home, got cleaned up, had Topher and Norman over. I mentioned I'd seen Topher's second scene with Guybone, and he mentioned he's shooting with them again on Tuesday. I'm screaming over this, because I'm Jenna Motherfucking Maroney, and it's maddening that they're apparently willing to work around the day job for him but not me. That he gets his 3rd shoot in less than a year and I've had to fight for once/year. Both of them noticed I was distracted during the session. I feel bad, but not that bad. I'm hosting, I brought them together, I'm involved. Norman just wants someone to cum, but Topher hasn't managed to do it yet. After Norman left, Topher talked about how frustrating it is applying to various studios, getting positive feedback but never actually getting cast. He's also got a scene coming up this summer, so he's got way more shoots on the books than I do. Sort of. I mean, I've got several, but they're for my nonprofit, and it's a *very* different feeling to be casting people to have sex on camera than it is to be cast. I have to tell myself I'm not a predator pretty constantly. Or maybe that's just been because my first two costars were very clearly very not into me.

I left late to get fuel for my car, condoms, and groceries. Warren had taken a nap, and now his roommate was there, so we should share the food with her, too. But then Ralph's was out of the condoms he wanted, I couldn't even find the pasta, and Trader Joe's was out of "sausage." No, fuck this. He still wanted me to come up, but it was getting towards 8 and I'm a bit of a perfectionist in the worst way. If something starts going wrong, I don't want to do it at all. And while I'm working on it, between him cumming, my being late, there being no condoms, no food, and his roommate there...fuck it.

Richard was watching Star Trek when I got back, loud enough I could hear it through my walls. If I'd had any doubt he didn't comprehend the message this morning.....I had a glass of wine, too tired to jerk off, and laid down to sleep with a pillow over my head to drown out the TV.
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2017-07-05 05:04 pm

The Hangover Part 2

Woke up at 3 of course, got into my toy chest and didn't manage to cum, but did manage to fall back asleep. That's a win! Made it to work on time, but got reminded that I agreed to do all of JJD's case offers, and he had over 30. Not cool, JJD. Also struggled to keep up with my claims, unfortunately. Jeff messaged me again about stopping by to get his stuff. One of his friends in the mid-West killed himself. Mostly. Was on life support for a bit, but apparently brain dead. So he's got that on top of being a homeless addict.

Texted with Warren, bought bulk Claritin for him, he tagged me in a bunch of posts. I also made an appointment to buy a cat tree. $150 cat tree for $50. More than I'd hoped to spend, but even just scratching posts cost almost that much, so might as well go big. I crashed briefly at home while I waited to hear back from them. Rhea, the seller, and her friend Amy, were having wine and cheese in South Park, but helped me load the cat palace into my car. I'd initially meant to go to rehearsal with the thing in my car, but we had to tie it down as it was.

Rehearsal was somewhat boring, but not completely useless. Keith wants to have an additional rehearsal for Single Ladies with me and Ben on Friday night. Okay. Jeff was still at my house when I got back and talked to me at length about his friend. Even though it was way past my bed time, I offered him a ride to his friends place. It's about a mile away, but he had a lot of stuff to carry.

I finally got to sleep at home...only to be woken up at 2am by Richard's strange, drunken, part-screaming part-singing. He's done this before because he "can't hear himself" over his headphones. As soon as I came out of my room, he pulled them off and stopped. I just...I don't understand.
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2017-07-04 11:02 am

Holiday, not rest

I got a decent night's sleep for having gone to bed so late. But not quite early enough to still make it to the 9am brunch, and Lady Miss Friday was being needy besides. I did still make it to brunch. I had a mimosa, talked to George, sat down with the pups. And met a nice couple from Sweden on their honeymoon. One of them, Phillip, looks like Schmerber, so I made sure to Friend both of them and invite them to stay with me any time. The boys took off for Black's, I had a party to get to.

Warren messaged me, asking if he could come to the house party in the afternoon, and we walked over. The party started out pretty quiet, but it was good to see Leo again, and to spend time with Moose and Lexi. Warren is a lightweight, so had to take it easy after his first drink. I did the same, for the first part of the party. I met Bob, a FB friend of mine who is friends with my 1st Grade teacher, and he was tipsy enough to show his jock. I'm really glad no one made any ageist comments.

I got to meet several of my FB friends - Michele Ada, who is a big fan of my work, and a gent named Andrew, who I think had some sort of argument with another guest later in the night. I spent time talking to Rodney, who was their Santa at Christmas, and a young lady named Katie, who added me to several other Dog Lover FB groups. Talked more to Hanz, who might be dating Ed? Not sure. It started getting late, so we walked home. I figured that with Warren being allergic to cats, he would leave straight from the front door, but he decided to come inside with me and fuck. We started with a condom, but I think he might have given up at one point and fucked me bare. Lady Miss Friday is usually pretty good about staying off the bed, but decided to come say "hello," and that was the end of fun time. Warren went home, I crashed.
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2017-07-03 09:12 am

Feeling Like Brussel Sprouts

Chance cuddled before he fully woke up, but was far more standoffish once he finally woke up completely. I'd have given him a ride home, but I had to be at work and he lives in College Area. Bryan mentioned he was cute - with a touch of jealousy? - as I walked out the door.

Made it to work on time, kept my claims in check, worked out in my office. Richard messaged me in a panic, asking if I'd get him an Uber to work because he can't find his bus pass. Sure.

I hit the gym after work. Very short workout, but better than none, right? I hit up Chris Andino, but he was noncomittal. Robert Maybe hit me up, but then disappeared. Another guy hit me up but "fell asleep." Grady and Robby wanted to get together, but also disappeared. Charlie was interested in doing a scene for us, but his absolute minimum he's willing to work for is $800. Charlie doesn't do many scenes these days.

Nizar now needs 5k to attempt to get smuggled out. Wants to start a GofundMe

Richard went to Flicks, I stayed up too late doing nothing.
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2017-07-02 07:09 am

Pendulum of Popular

Woke up a little after 10, which is both longer than I'd expected and less than I'd hoped to sleep. Texted around to see who was out and about, got invited to brunch by Leeper. He was there with his boyfriend(?), his roommate, Justin, and Brian. I was charming, Justin was high, his roommate was very very quiet. I got there too late to drink, which is probably good, really. Justin invited me back to his place to do coke with him and Brian, but I declined.

Eliott asked about going to The Hole, but didn't want to go until much later. Much later came and I still hadn't heard from him, so I took off on my own. It was *crazy* busy. Like, crazy. I could barely move and nearly left. I certainly didn't wait in the ridiculous line to get a drink. Normally when I go to the Hole I know a million people already, or people are very friendly and I can chat with anyone. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was unfriendly, but it definitely wasn't the vibe I was used to. I still stuck it out, though, and eventually the line inside died down enough for me to get a drink.

While in line, a gent came up to me to tell me I was cute, we swapped numbers and then swapped spit. Long enough, really, that I lost my spot in line. Worth it. He left, but as I got closer to the front of the line, the gent in front of me decided he wanted to take me home. Chance, I think. I figured he was just drunk at first, and would attach to another person pretty quickly. Not only did he stay with me, he ditched his friend to come back to me. Oh, alright.

He wasn't, unfortunately, a very good lay. He topped me briefly, bottomed even more briefly, then passed out. Still a good day.
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2017-07-01 08:38 am

Be Calm Like Banjee

Woke up bright and early, went to make coffee. Saw we had none, then remembered that I bought some instant stuff just for such an occasion. Go me! Drove out to Dave's place and then to the very busy bank. Cute teller there, nice older lady who helped us, too. Pretty simple process, really. I also better explained the Porn with a Purpose project for SWoRN.

Tim asked to come over for brunch and I didn't really have anything else planned, so I said sure. Made tofu scramble for him and Richard, and we put up my mirror, too. I'm honestly really excited about it, and my butt already looks great in it.

As I was cleaning up, I got a call from former houseguest Leon. He mentioned the last time I saw him that he had found a foster for his dog, Banjee. And I'd just seen via FB a little while back that he was going back into in-patient rehab. The people fostering Banjee can't keep him any long. Our friend Kenton can keep him, but can't drive up to Santa Ana to get him, so could I do it right now or early tomorrow morning? Yeah, I guess I can.

The drive up wasn't terrible. A little stop and go in places, but my music kept me pretty occupied. Sarah, her husband, and her mom live in a lovely little house. Banjee was playing with her mom in the back yard, but immediately laid down for belly rubs when I sat down. We loaded up my car with food, toys, and his blanket and got on the road home again. Banjee makes a stellar co-pilot. Calm, occasionally sleepy, though he's an oddly shaped dog to fit in my front seat. Unfortunately, even though we missed one traffic accident by leaving a little later, the rest of the drive got progressively worse, until it was finally faster to drive east 16 miles and then continue south. Other people on the road were largely and surprisingly great. One guy kept exclaiming when he passed us and saw Banjee, and a group of girls blasting Rihanna were enamored of my lip syncing skills. Especially as I was lip syncing from 3 lanes over. And wonderful Banjee was still just as calm.

I let Kenton know when we were close, and he apparently misunderstood that he was even taking Banjee, but was fine with it. He has 3 Shiba Inus already, and after a little initial snarling from the grumpy old man of the group (Banjee still calm as ever), they all seemed to get along.

I had just enough time to shovel some food in my face when I got home before I had to start getting ready for my clients. They'd initially scheduled things for 9:30, then 9, then at 8:15 said I could come by whenever. By 8:15, of course, I was already in the shower getting ready, and really had no way to hurry things along at that point. I got to their place a little after 8:45, took a shot of Bimix, and followed them upstairs. I've rarely had such a fun time, tbh. Flip fucking, sling fucking, piggy fun for 2 hours. I felt bad because the one guy was pretty high, so moved us around from position to position pretty quickly, and the other guy, through some combination of age and drugs, was unable to get/stay hard even with multiple shots of Bimix. He managed to fuck me some, but probably not as much as he'd have liked. They wanted me to stay longer, but had already scheduled another guy to come over at 11. I guess it's an all night thing for them.

I could probably still have made it for the tail end of Bear Night, but Grady and Robby invited me to hand with them and their friend downtown, so I headed there instead. It was less orgy than I thought it was going to be, and more hanging out drinking and petting cats. Which is also fine with me, and I did get to fuck Robby (finally) and Grady, as well as DP Grady with Robby's dick and my tongue. Our host decided not to join, as his husband is out of town. It was a little after 5am when Robby got a message from *his* husband, and while I didn't get whatever the memo was, he seemed very upset. Everyone but me - including 18 year old Grady - had smoked meth. I'm used to people smoking meth, so that didn't freak me out at all. What did freak me out was how tempted I was to also smoke meth. Not even with them, but the idea of spending a couple days furiously masturbating sounded *amazing* to me right then. It still sounds amazing, really. Just without the meth. I gotta find something else to do.

I finally dropped them off at Robby's and headed home to crash myself.
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2017-06-30 02:23 pm

Scream into the void

Messaged Bryan in the morning only to find he missed his appointment again. I nearly lost it with him, typing in and deleting a dozen messages. I eventually managed to simmer down, and just explained he needed to figure something out, because it's been 3 months. Richard moved in, though he should hopefully only be there for a week or two. He has a job, just needs to find a place. Hopefully. It was a very long day that kind of wouldn't end. Feeling pretty disheartened about the nonprofit, and it turns out I misread an invite for Saturday; it's actually an invite for Pride. Damn. Phillip, one of the guys I met/fucked at Sean's, and who I got into a huge disagreement over Sanders. But we still gt along reasonably well, and he still wants to fuck me. So I invited him over later in the evening, but hit the gym before. It was a good workout, and helped clear my head.

When I got home, I started getting cleaned up early, but even with him running late, I still had to run to the bathroom one more time when he got there. I was fine for the rest of the time, though. It was nice to fuck him without being so drunk. I came for him, shot all over his face, we stayed chatting after about healthcare, and work, and my nonprofit, and mistakes.
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2017-06-29 10:50 am

So hard to get good help these days.

David Wichman contacted me in the morning, asking around about companies he could shoot with, so I sent messages to Jason, Jay, and Rob, putting in a good word for him.

Scheduled the shoot with Michael for 7, because I had to pick up Dave from east county and didn't want to fight traffic. And also figured I could get everything set up on my own, because I'm a Big Boy. But I get out at the very start of traffic, and as Dave pointed out, Big Boys play to their strengths and delegate the rest. Traffic was bad, but not as bad as if say, I'd torn my apartment apart looking for the camera only to remember later that Dave had it. I told Michael he could come early, but call time was 7, and he showed up right at 7.

The interview went much better than last time, though I still need to tamp down on my anxiety and work on follow up questions. The scene itself was awful. He couldn't get hard at all. Apparently he'd taken 13 loads today, so despite not having cum, was pretty fucked out. Makes total sense that you'd do that the day of a fucking porn shoot. He watched some porn on his phone to get hard, which always feels like a rejection for me. Dave suggested we call it, and before I could agree, Michael so desperately said he was almost hard that I didn't stop him. He managed to fuck me very very briefly, gave a small cumshot, I shot buckets.

Dropped Dave back off at home, then picked up Tyler for a drink at Mo's. He's in town shooting for Bromo, which mollified me that I wasn't being passed up for a shoot by one of the companies I'd already shot with. Also I didn't know they shot here. They apparently require you do do their own STD test 24 hours before a shoot, which is kind of smart but 1) makes no sense since they can take up to 72 hrs to show up and 2) probably nerve wracking for the stars. We have somewhat different thoughts on sex work, and also he's afraid of mice, so he probably won't be crashing at my place any time soon. Took him to get food, since he was pretty tipsy, then went home myself.

Robby and Grady were at a hotel and invited me over, but I keep telling them 1) we need to schedule in advance and 2) school nights are highly unlikely.
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2017-06-28 10:10 am

Not Rich, Comfortable

Found out JJD is going on vacation for the next week and a half. Okay. Ken, one of the Tops I've been chatting with on Scruff, decided to come visit SD to go to Blacks, but mostly to fuck me. I guess people have spent more on less, but still. My stomach was being a bit weird, but I got to a place that I was fairly confident. He was staying at the King's Inn, which is close by and has free parking. Yay! We had a great time. Like, a really great time. He said I suck dick like a porn star, which I wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. I do love dry humor. He came twice, I came close but saved it. His partner is a famous TV personality - worked with Dr. Phil and Oprah...flipping houses, I think? Can't recall. He's very interested in my nonprofit - really gets what I'm trying to do, which is awesome. And wants to have my up to PS some time.

I only briefly considered going to rehearsal. It's Keith's, which means he's unlikely to be showing us anything new. Sent my email begging off due to my back and contacted Mitchell instead.

Mitchell was staying at the Hard Rock downtown, so I drove down to meet him. He'd previously suggested I use his shower, but then asked me to just pick him up and go with him to dinner. Um, sure? There was a baseball game or something going on, so of course traffic and parking were atrocious. Further towards the Lyceum, we did manage to find something, so I took him to Panera. He talked about his experience with escorting/street walking when he was 16/17, and about his current job with AVID, and some troubles there. On the walk back, he talked about our first meeting, and how I wasn't into him. No, I was just oblivious. He'll be back in August, and wants to get together then. We kissed in the car when I dropped him off, but there was no place to park, and my stomach had started getting wonky anyway.

Tim was at my place when I got back, because he was able to get into the storage unit a few days ago. He thinks it just needs some lube. Don't we all. We managed to get the door open, but all the camera stuff is actually in my apartment. Meh. I'm glad I know how to get in.
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2017-06-27 06:16 am

I Only Go Home For My Cat

Another busy day at work, and I stayed after journaling for two hours. Bryan hadn't heard back from the housing guy, and still hasn't been able to see his doc. Asked if I could take him for groceries, which I said I'd do after the gym. He seems astounded by how much time I spend away from home. While I was still at work, I heard from none other than the magnificent Matt Torrell. Kind of random, really, and I'm not sure what prompted it, but it was good to hear from him.

Great gym workout, bought most stuff for Desert Romp. Still can't decide on an outfit for the Friday night Wet Underwear contest that I'm hosting for the 3rd year in a row, no one could play him like you could, no one's going to.

Michael posted that he's going to be in town for two days, which is basically my only chance to shoot with him. I've worked clients with him before, and we did a scene together once. He was hungover for the scene and required two shots of TriMix to get hard. He apparently had a disastrous scene with Raw & Rough, too. Similar deal. It's kind of maddening, because he's thin and hung and could have a stellar career, but seems to self sabotage. Or something. I'm not sure, but as a sex worker with an up and coming DJ career, he's kind of a poster child for SWoRn.

Tyler is also coming to town for a couple days, for a shoot, and I'm quieting the voice in my head wondering who he's shooting with.

Richard, one of my house guests from what was essentially an AA meeting at my place, is in need of a place again. He's been at a shelter for a while, but has a job now, so it should be a relatively short stay for him. I also got a strange call from Willis, but he just left a rambling message when I couldn't answer. I texted him but he just responded that he was "fine." Someone later took a surreptitious photo of him at the Loft.

I meant to do a quick workout, but everything was working for me. Good thing, because I don't anticipate having a ton of time for it in the next couple days. Even my cardio was longer than expected, thanks to the Benny Benassi remix of ET.

Bryan was sleeping when I got home, but I woke him up since he'd asked me to take him and TJ's was closing soon. Groceries closer to $50 this time, which is great. Really didn't have much energy for anything else by the time we got home, but I did have the foresight to try to get into my storage unit and look for various filming equipment. Something's wrong with the door, though, and I couldn't get it open.
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2017-06-26 03:33 pm

So Like...What Do You Do?

Killer hangover, randy all day, but couldn't take the time to even edge in the bathroom because there was so much to do. I did manage to work out in my office, and then hit the gym on the way home. Towards the middle-end of my workout, some guy off Recon texted, but he repeatedly asked for my "stats," even though I'd already given them, and kept talking about pain and oral, even though I told him I don't do pain and oral is foreplay. The very last time he finally said not a match, but I was already on my way home.

Bryan said he'd rescheduled his appointment so he could try to see his doctor, but he hadn't, he'd just not gone. Which is a problem. I texted with various folks from the weekend, finally managed trim my hair and shower, jerked off once at the computer and again getting into my toy chest. I was pretty worried about it, but it was only a little uncomfortable, not quite painful.
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2017-06-25 05:44 pm


Minor freakout in the morning. I texted Willis, asking about the errands and he responded "everything went according to plan." But...the plan is still to give my car back, right? Not only was that the plan, but he'd put fuel in it and cleaned it out. Amazing.

Chip was running late, which is fine because Willis was also running late, and Dave....canceled coming at all, because I hadn't set the time. On the one hand, I don't want him to think I'm so scatterbrained that I asked my cameraman *the night before* and only provided those details he asked for. On the other hand, I don't want him thinking he was my second choice for cameraman, and I realistically *am* normally that scatterbrained, so I left it at that.

The shoot was more than a little awkward. Willis asked to have straight porn on, which is fine. But he stared at it *intently* the entire time. But it wasn't the worst shoot I've ever had. He stayed hard, fucked me in several positions, and was able to cum (though just on my face, not on/in my ass). I should have warned him that I'm a shooter, because my cum got all over him. It was the first time he's had penetrative sex with a man, and it was like "having sex with his dad." Willis is about a decade older than me.

I managed to get his check written and his contracts signed, offered him a ride, but he fell asleep on the couch next to Bryan. Adam wanted to meet at The Hole, but I had to push it back as Willis finally woke up, and wanted me to take him to cash his check first. But had no idea where to go, and the online branch locator was worse than useless. Also, he forgot his shoes at my place and asked me to buy him a new pair. After trying 3 different ATM locations, I gave up on getting his check cashed, but still gave him a ride home to Clairemont. On the way there, he got *another* call from a client. Some guy wanting to be cuckolded in front of his wife.

Some small, distant, petty part of my brain is screaming at how much work he's getting over having a big dick. And screaming about his request for a hotel room, for my Lyft account, for new shoes, as those are surely the sorts of things he's accustomed to getting from fans of his dick. But I kept the voice small and distant and finally arrived at The Hole. Made my way to Adam, who gave me a huge hug and kiss. He's looking at moving back, and I offered my place. Just like old times. They didn't stay long, which freed me up to flirt with other guys. And there were a lot of guys who were digging me today. A guy from PS named Ryan, Dave from OB, Hector, Eli, Brad, Dimitri. Ryan wanted to have a 4 way, Dave wants to fuck this week, Hector wanted to take me home, but I had to explain that I almost never hook up in person. He usually hooks up in person, so he was frustrated.

He and Dimitri wanted to go to PECS, and since I'd just had one drink, I volunteered to drive us. PECS was fun, but my favorite bartender, Jasper, wasn't working. And I had 3 more drinks there, so my night gets a little fuzzy. Finally stumbled home and crashed.