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Found out JJD is going on vacation for the next week and a half. Okay. Ken, one of the Tops I've been chatting with on Scruff, decided to come visit SD to go to Blacks, but mostly to fuck me. I guess people have spent more on less, but still. My stomach was being a bit weird, but I got to a place that I was fairly confident. He was staying at the King's Inn, which is close by and has free parking. Yay! We had a great time. Like, a really great time. He said I suck dick like a porn star, which I wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. I do love dry humor. He came twice, I came close but saved it. His partner is a famous TV personality - worked with Dr. Phil and Oprah...flipping houses, I think? Can't recall. He's very interested in my nonprofit - really gets what I'm trying to do, which is awesome. And wants to have my up to PS some time.

I only briefly considered going to rehearsal. It's Keith's, which means he's unlikely to be showing us anything new. Sent my email begging off due to my back and contacted Mitchell instead.

Mitchell was staying at the Hard Rock downtown, so I drove down to meet him. He'd previously suggested I use his shower, but then asked me to just pick him up and go with him to dinner. Um, sure? There was a baseball game or something going on, so of course traffic and parking were atrocious. Further towards the Lyceum, we did manage to find something, so I took him to Panera. He talked about his experience with escorting/street walking when he was 16/17, and about his current job with AVID, and some troubles there. On the walk back, he talked about our first meeting, and how I wasn't into him. No, I was just oblivious. He'll be back in August, and wants to get together then. We kissed in the car when I dropped him off, but there was no place to park, and my stomach had started getting wonky anyway.

Tim was at my place when I got back, because he was able to get into the storage unit a few days ago. He thinks it just needs some lube. Don't we all. We managed to get the door open, but all the camera stuff is actually in my apartment. Meh. I'm glad I know how to get in.
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Another busy day at work, and I stayed after journaling for two hours. Bryan hadn't heard back from the housing guy, and still hasn't been able to see his doc. Asked if I could take him for groceries, which I said I'd do after the gym. He seems astounded by how much time I spend away from home. While I was still at work, I heard from none other than the magnificent Matt Torrell. Kind of random, really, and I'm not sure what prompted it, but it was good to hear from him.

Great gym workout, bought most stuff for Desert Romp. Still can't decide on an outfit for the Friday night Wet Underwear contest that I'm hosting for the 3rd year in a row, no one could play him like you could, no one's going to.

Michael posted that he's going to be in town for two days, which is basically my only chance to shoot with him. I've worked clients with him before, and we did a scene together once. He was hungover for the scene and required two shots of TriMix to get hard. He apparently had a disastrous scene with Raw & Rough, too. Similar deal. It's kind of maddening, because he's thin and hung and could have a stellar career, but seems to self sabotage. Or something. I'm not sure, but as a sex worker with an up and coming DJ career, he's kind of a poster child for SWoRn.

Tyler is also coming to town for a couple days, for a shoot, and I'm quieting the voice in my head wondering who he's shooting with.

Richard, one of my house guests from what was essentially an AA meeting at my place, is in need of a place again. He's been at a shelter for a while, but has a job now, so it should be a relatively short stay for him. I also got a strange call from Willis, but he just left a rambling message when I couldn't answer. I texted him but he just responded that he was "fine." Someone later took a surreptitious photo of him at the Loft.

I meant to do a quick workout, but everything was working for me. Good thing, because I don't anticipate having a ton of time for it in the next couple days. Even my cardio was longer than expected, thanks to the Benny Benassi remix of ET.

Bryan was sleeping when I got home, but I woke him up since he'd asked me to take him and TJ's was closing soon. Groceries closer to $50 this time, which is great. Really didn't have much energy for anything else by the time we got home, but I did have the foresight to try to get into my storage unit and look for various filming equipment. Something's wrong with the door, though, and I couldn't get it open.
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Killer hangover, randy all day, but couldn't take the time to even edge in the bathroom because there was so much to do. I did manage to work out in my office, and then hit the gym on the way home. Towards the middle-end of my workout, some guy off Recon texted, but he repeatedly asked for my "stats," even though I'd already given them, and kept talking about pain and oral, even though I told him I don't do pain and oral is foreplay. The very last time he finally said not a match, but I was already on my way home.

Bryan said he'd rescheduled his appointment so he could try to see his doctor, but he hadn't, he'd just not gone. Which is a problem. I texted with various folks from the weekend, finally managed trim my hair and shower, jerked off once at the computer and again getting into my toy chest. I was pretty worried about it, but it was only a little uncomfortable, not quite painful.
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Minor freakout in the morning. I texted Willis, asking about the errands and he responded "everything went according to plan." But...the plan is still to give my car back, right? Not only was that the plan, but he'd put fuel in it and cleaned it out. Amazing.

Chip was running late, which is fine because Willis was also running late, and Dave....canceled coming at all, because I hadn't set the time. On the one hand, I don't want him to think I'm so scatterbrained that I asked my cameraman *the night before* and only provided those details he asked for. On the other hand, I don't want him thinking he was my second choice for cameraman, and I realistically *am* normally that scatterbrained, so I left it at that.

The shoot was more than a little awkward. Willis asked to have straight porn on, which is fine. But he stared at it *intently* the entire time. But it wasn't the worst shoot I've ever had. He stayed hard, fucked me in several positions, and was able to cum (though just on my face, not on/in my ass). I should have warned him that I'm a shooter, because my cum got all over him. It was the first time he's had penetrative sex with a man, and it was like "having sex with his dad." Willis is about a decade older than me.

I managed to get his check written and his contracts signed, offered him a ride, but he fell asleep on the couch next to Bryan. Adam wanted to meet at The Hole, but I had to push it back as Willis finally woke up, and wanted me to take him to cash his check first. But had no idea where to go, and the online branch locator was worse than useless. Also, he forgot his shoes at my place and asked me to buy him a new pair. After trying 3 different ATM locations, I gave up on getting his check cashed, but still gave him a ride home to Clairemont. On the way there, he got *another* call from a client. Some guy wanting to be cuckolded in front of his wife.

Some small, distant, petty part of my brain is screaming at how much work he's getting over having a big dick. And screaming about his request for a hotel room, for my Lyft account, for new shoes, as those are surely the sorts of things he's accustomed to getting from fans of his dick. But I kept the voice small and distant and finally arrived at The Hole. Made my way to Adam, who gave me a huge hug and kiss. He's looking at moving back, and I offered my place. Just like old times. They didn't stay long, which freed me up to flirt with other guys. And there were a lot of guys who were digging me today. A guy from PS named Ryan, Dave from OB, Hector, Eli, Brad, Dimitri. Ryan wanted to have a 4 way, Dave wants to fuck this week, Hector wanted to take me home, but I had to explain that I almost never hook up in person. He usually hooks up in person, so he was frustrated.

He and Dimitri wanted to go to PECS, and since I'd just had one drink, I volunteered to drive us. PECS was fun, but my favorite bartender, Jasper, wasn't working. And I had 3 more drinks there, so my night gets a little fuzzy. Finally stumbled home and crashed.
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Finally got around to telling my mum about July, and she's absolutely free that Friday...because she was just fired. It sucks, but it could also be very good for her. She's better than being a CSR.

Repeatedly opened and closed the email quitting the Diva show, but eventually ran out of time to send it and went to rehearsal. I'm Every Woman was first, but Joe was running late, so we practiced what we remembered. Jesus and Jenna in particular really have it down quite well. Joe didn't actually remember it as well as them. After getting a decent night's sleep and having a more structured rehearsal, I felt much better about it. Actually, now that we know what we're doing, I kind of love it. There are several pirouettes, and I'm very happy. Dance With Somebody was next, and I pwn that one anyway. The dance part, anyway. The flags I have a little more trouble with. Last was I'm Coming Out, which I missed the first rehearsal for, so I don't know nearly as well. DJ commented that if I wasn't in front, you know something's wrong. Fair. But I felt comfortable by the end of it.

When I parked at home, there was a large mirror sitting next to the spot where I parked. I've just been browsing CL again looking for one, and viola. Now I just need a cat tree. I brought the mirror inside, gobbled down some tofu, and headed to the pool party. It was a surprisingly eclectic group of people. Lots of chorus folk, of course, but also Seaman, Ryan & Aaron, and a couple new friends. I talked to Marcus, an SDGMC dancer who's been cast in the show twice and quit twice. He talked about PrEP, and progress, and about the Broadway show, which he saw the DVD of and couldn't stop watching me in it. Go me! I didn't drink, but I didn't stay there long, either. My potential costar, Willis, asked if I could get him a hotel or something for the night - I offered my couch, kept checking my phone to make sure he wasn't homeless or something. While checking for that, I happened to get a text for Dusty. As much as I was enjoying the party, I was a little upset that I hadn't been able to work the night before, so that's gonna take precedence. Drove home, showered off, then up to La Jolla at The Lodge in Torrey Pines. I'd never been there before, and it's beautiful. A little slice of Scotland, to the point that the bellhops wear kilts.

The client had identified themselves as a couple, vers bottoms. I'd said I was vers, love eating ass, then remembered that I hadn't seen them and didn't know anything about them, so I might have gotten myself into trouble. But then the door opened and a very hot, tattoed man named Jesse was standing there, introduced me to his blond/blue eyed partner. They tag teamed me, I ate Jesse's ass, both came in me, I came all over my face. I had such a great time, I felt bad about taking their money, but they'd been texting several boys, and someone was going to get it.

Willis had texted while I was occupied, asking if I'd get a drink with him, so I went straight to the cafe he was at in Banker's Hill. I didn't get anything, he talked, in the usual methy way, about his prison history and his plans for now. He'd already had one client that morning, and got another while we were sitting there. On the way to drop him off at his client, he asked to use my Lyft account for a bunch of errands he had to run after. I know way too many people who've been fucked over by doing that, so I let him use my car instead. Which makes total sense to me, even if it's not necessarily the brightest move I've ever made.

Shannon had to bail as the cameraman, which sucks. One because it means I'm out as a cameraman, and two because I really want Shannon to be there while I'm fucking. Him. Dave said he'd do it and asked for the address. Since I'm not doing anything crazy, shooting in my room works just fine.

Adam Studley had asked for places to go with his partner, as they're in town, but they'd already been to Mo's (then why am I just getting this text?). But he did invite me with them to Flick's in the evening, though they canceled that, too, as they went to Mo's for lunch and got too drunk.

Chip, it turns out, was also in town, but wasn't sad that Adam canceled the Flick's trip, as he was also tired. He's going to serve as backup cameraman tomorrow, and take stills with his iPhone.
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A client hit me up in the morning, but left off asking how old I *really* am. I told him, offered proof, and he said he didn't need it.

One of the "secret" groups I belong to on FB has (at least) 2 boys I've slept with in it. Josh is a tall, thin, nerdy, hung ginger who invited me to tag team a chubby greedy bottom with him a few years back. I did, but at some point the greedy bottom needed a break, so I took over bottoming. I'm *such* a good friend. Josh's contact has been sporadic at best over the years, and I'm starting to suspect he's just very very very awkward in his online communications. He might want to do porn, and asked for my help, but keeps going silent when I find opportunities for him. Warren I slept with last week, despite the hoops I had to jump through. The two were flirting on the site, which is only irritating because Warren waits for the end of the flirt to explain his requirements. Neither could host, so I said I could. And then I got added to a group chat about an orgy. Irritation again that I wasn't added before that. But whatever.

Got home, got cleaned up and waited. The group was supposed to start at 5, but everyone was running late. Not a problem, as my stomach suddenly started getting wonky. More shower time. I still wasn't confident when the boys showed up, but I figured I'd just top. Ultimately, I had to keep running to the bathroom in between fuckings, but I didn't make a mess on anyone, and I managed to top 2 people, so I'm good. Mostly I ate Johnny's ass. It was amazing. I wasn't going to cum, but one of the other guys held on to do it, then Johnny wanted to, so I did, too. Of course I had the best shot.

Tim came over after everyone left, we talked briefly, though I was way too tired to engage in conversation. And then the client from earlier messaged me, wanting me to come over now. Bummer, but I was spent and couldn't really do anything. He was oddly insistent, which actually freaked me out a little. Maybe good that I wasn't up for it.
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Woke up before 4, but that didn't stop me. 2 flower pots of coffee might also have had something to do with it, tbh. *FINALLY* got slightly ahead on claims despite what seemed like a never ending stream of them. Someone on FB mentioned that Rubio's is having a job faire, so I texted Bryan as much, but I figured he'd be sleeping. Our meeting largely went well, I avoided the chips, which isn't that difficult to do, worked out 3 times in my office, since I figured I wouldn't have a chance to hit the gym.

Bought essentials at the store, avoided vegan mayo, got quarters. Got a reply from Bryan, but not about the job faire. Jeff was at my place, standing next to a chair and drifting in and out of consciousness. I walked in to find an even more disheveled looking than usual Jeff, shirt open, pants literally falling off his ass, clearly high. This, of course, is somewhat upsetting. More upsetting though was that my first thought was not upset, but rather how fucking hot he looked, and a little jealousy over all the sex he surely must be having. Really, I was more disturbed by my reaction to his appearance than his appearance itself.

Bryan was passed out on his bed, naked except for his robe, but he woke up a few minutes later. He's got some kind of very very painful STD, but might also be able to get a place of his own through the Youth Housing. I'm kind of upset with myself that I didn't think of it first, really.

Jeff followed me into my room rambling about a number of topics. I couldn't make out most of them, but he mentioned wanting to shove someone's face into a blender. Repeatedly. Was almost crying over it at one point. And I'm still not sure who it was. I finally extricated myself to do laundry, review Express This Way, and spend some time with Lady Miss Friday before rehearsal. I put my towels out to dry on the balcony, and it's horrible out there. I'm amazed I have any cups left inside, bags and bags of trash (which I guess could be worse), broken pipes, etc. I really need to get my place back to myself ASAP, or I'm gonna get kicked out myself.

I realized I'd missed a rehearsal last Monday - our first for Mama's Broken Heart - but downloaded the video. It's horrible. A tiny bit of line dancing, because Country Music, but then just...shit. Got to rehearsal a little early, went over the choreography we'd learned with some boys who weren't previously there. Joe and Keith said we'd just be learning the second half of it instead of reviewing the first half. That's fine, I've got the video to rehearse with. Unfortunately, Joe and Keith were making up large swaths on the fly. Like....all of it, and asking each other how much more music they had to fill. I can't with this. One of the other dancers came up to me after to ask what I'd been doing to lose weight, which is at least nice to hear.

Jeff had passed out on the couch when I left for rehearsal, but was hanging on to consciousness watching some show on Netflix when I came back. I told him it needed to be turned way down because I was going to bed, and Bryan co-signed. He turned it down, I went to bed with Lady Miss Friday, but he walked in a few minutes later. Took him a few minutes to talk, but he finally mentioned that the other guy on the couch (Nick) had stolen some of my dick pills, and his initial plan was to try to leverage them for...something? I can always get more pills, I'd have given them away if he'd asked. I'm angry that this random guy decided to take advantage of the place giving him shelter, and I'm angry that Jeff let him in my room at all, much less let him steal from me.

It took me far too long to get to sleep.
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Woke up on time, but not especially refreshed. I should probably have at least showered, or at least done laundry or something the day before. Oh well.

There'd been some kind of email issue in the morning, and Lynelle supplied that as the reason I hadn't sent my email. Yep, that's the one. Asked me to call instead next time, but given that I never actually call in, no one was upset, nothing had caught on fire.

I had a productive day, getting mostly caught up on claims, taking care of case offers. I had my monthly meeting, too. Dave and Lynelle were concerned about me, because my claims had gotten behind. Not about the claims themselves, just about me. They're good bosses.

I hit the gym after work, which was very sparse when I got there, but increasingly crowded as I left. I meant to do laundry, finally, but couldn't find my roll of quarters. It's more of an annoyance than anything else, really, but I didn't have it in me to go to the store after and get them/groceries. The only really upsetting part is that I'd already taken my jeans into the shower for a pre-rinse, so they were soaking wet.

I'd talked with some folks on Recon about getting together, and a guy named Davis who I met at Todd & Bruno's years back. We'd briefly fucked at the party, and been trying to get another go ever since then. The Recon guys never texted me, and Davis got into the 20 questions. When was my last test, how many men had I been with, when was their last test, how many men have they been with, what were their general health habits? This is getting absurd.

Particularly frustrating because Lady Miss Friday really wanted to lay next to me on the bed, and had to move when he finally showed up. He doesn't look like I remember, but it was a fine fuck. I came for him at the end, shot him in the face, he wiped it off and fed it back to me.

He wanted to get dinner, but I'm really just eating bricks of tofu these days. He stayed chatting for a bit - he's weirded out that I'm going to be in the porn videos fro SWoRN, which has me mildly freaked out - before I kicked him out around 8:30. I think he wants to date, which is a great big no in my book. Finally got to lay down with Lady Miss Friday after he left.
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Woke up halfway between hungover and drunk. Couldn't find my phone, so tried to email via my desktop, but couldn't get in that way. JJD sent my calling in sick email for me, and I found my phone in the blankets next to me. Plugged it in and slept/sweated for another few hours.

I ignored the mountain of emails when I woke up for real, instead watching RPDR Reunion (nowhere near as exciting as everyone made it out to be) and *a lot* of porn. I jerked off 3 times, and I'd jerk off 2 more times by the end of the night. If only I could bottle that part of the hangover without the rest of it.

Partway through the day, I heard Bryan scream in anger. He'd been fired for leaving uncooked chicken out, or something. He hated the job anyway, and bitched constantly about leaving it, though I'd obviously been telling him to find a new job before he did. But this is problematic because he wasn't saving money before - all my attempts to get him to do a budget, or clean up his stuff, or do his dishes...anything, really, had been met with him agreeing to do it...and then not.

He passed out, I went to bed on time, oddly sleepy for having slept most of the day and done nothing.
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A little before 7, strangely not hungover. Bonus of vomiting, I guess. Warren had messaged, wondering if we might get together early this morning, so I texted him, but didn't hear back until almost 10. He would be free this time after around 4 or 5pm, and so long as I hadn't even had oral sex with anyone else, we could fuck. Sure, kid.

Crosby, who I've been supposed to get together with for several years, but one of us was always in a relationship, is single again and asked to come over. Absolutely. He's a little more verbal than I expected, and got so excited that he came before we fucked. Flattering, really.

Tim asked if he could come by with Pupple, which became asking to join Sosa and I for lunch. Sosa, as it turns out, had forgotten about lunch, but could make it if we pushed it back to 1. No one had any opinion on where we should go, except that Sosa wanted to stay in Mission Valley. I don't think I've ever actually eaten anything in Mission Valley as an adult, so I have no clue what's there.

Tim had gone to the Foxhole party the night before, said I'd really have enjoyed it. On the one hand, $20 + fuel to get from Chula Vista to El Cajon is kind of a lot for someone as poor as him. On the other, he doesn't have much opportunity for action these days, so whatever. He was on the phone with his family when I got a text from Warren saying that his family left early, and I could come up now if I wanted. That works. I found the place and found parking, but he still had to come get me, because he has a unit within the building he gave me.

It was awkward. He's just as cute, if not more attractive in person, but doesn't kiss, and he fucks literally like he's giving an eye exam. "Like that? Or harder? Like that or harder?" on repeat. He finally came, I shot for him. It went all over my face, up my nose, onto his pillows, etc. He took a pic of my face while he choked me.

I got to San Sai before anyone else. Their menu is still fairly lacking in vegan options - the only other time I'd ever been here was with Meeker. When everyone did finally arrive, I got the veggie roll. Sosa is neither excited nor dropping out over the new plan for SWoRN, so I'll take that. Brad is on board but had a hard time separating the scenes that SWoRN is going to be doing from the now-defunct Cosplay Cumpigs.

Tim and Sosa are both astounded I don't believe in empathy. Tim touched on my not hugging him the other night, and Sosa thinks it's a self-defense mechanism. And then she took a picture of me while I rubbed Pupple's chest and basked in his contentedness.

I'd messaged with Kidney about the possibility of going to The Hole, but he wanted to stay local, so I suggested PECS. He didn't get back to me, so I hit up Elliot. He thought it was a bit late for The Hole, even though it wasn't quite 5. We settled on PECS. BJ was there with his new boyfriend, drunkenly insisting my Steven Universe shirt was actually a Star Bellied Sneech from Dr. Seuss. Elliott didn't even stay for a single drink, which was odd. I'd already made several friends by that point, so I stayed with them for the rest of the night, including one ginger bear and one older gent who I counseled about getting older. I also wore someone's hat, but that was towards the end of the night.

I wandered home and decided to drink more and listen to music, which is obviously a great choice on a Sunday night when you haven't had a full night's sleep in weeks.
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Annnnd I woke up at 6. Which is insane. I thought I had rehearsal at 10, but checked again and wasn't due in until noon. Still couldn't get back to sleep, but I did manage to listen to my song a million more times.

We learned "Ain't No Mountain" first which is basic. Very basic. Step touch level basic. And John is there for it, which is a pleasant surprise. Hour and a half break between that and the next one, Raise Your Glass. I ran into Keith on the way back in, and he mentioned he wanted me to be "dance captain" which tends to mean the one responsible for remembering the choreography at each show.

As it turns out, there's not even much to remember. He choreographed two 8 counts of the chorus, and the rest of the time we're walking like rich people. And then he demanded ideas from us. I don't have anything against a collaborative process. I don't even have anything against wanting the dancers to come up with most of the movement. But it's seriously fucking awful to just spring it on us in the moment. "What do you have for me? Come on, anything!" And what we ended up with was jumping in place, step touch bullshit.

Finally home, I showered, borrowed Bryan's phone to take some pics of Lady Miss Friday, then headed up to the party. We got there just as Chad was having to leave - he apparently remembers less of PECS from the other night than I do. Picard was there (not that one), slightly tipsy and alternately thanking and grilling me on what I remember from his Halloween costume. He was a surprisingly accurate Jareth, but guys (children, really) kept confusing him for a generic rock star.

After a couple hours, my plan to not drink went out the window. On the one hand, that really helped me enjoy the party. I took part in the blow-up slide, made out with Paul in the top part, briefly jumped on Eric's dick much later in the night. On the other hand, shortly after I started drinking, I decided I wanted to hear my song more, so I had my single headphone in for the rest of the party (this actually made me Ryan's hero, and at least one new friend). On the other hand, my whole night gets really fuzzy, Terrence had to give me a ride home, and I threw up somewhere. I think.
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I thought I got to bed at a reasonable hour, and I thought I mostly slept through the night. I heard Bryan out on the patio at some ungodly hour, but managed to get back to sleep. I was a fucking zombie at work. I had my second cup of coffee early, as 1) I needed it, and 2) I didn't want to still be awake later in the day.

I re-listened to another song on Matt Torrell's Coachella playlist and fell madly in love with it. All day long on repeat. I listened to some of their other stuff, but didn't get the same jolt, which is a surprise to no one. I still haven't heard a single other song on "To The Faithful Departed."

Warren, (one of the) 21 y/o's I've been chatting with, is willing to fuck me bare, but only so long as I send him pics of my recent test and haven't had sex with anyone else. I happen to think this is absurd, but supposedly he's never had an STD. Supposedly, this is also the same requirements he has for everyone, which I don't believe for a second. I'm a patient man. He's graduating this weekend, so his parents are out of town, but he thought he might have time in the evening. DILF was also at the Rail, so I tried to nap when I got home, even jerking off, which usually helps. Nothing. So. Incredibly. Frustrating.

Warren's dad decided to spend the night at his apartment, which was strange, but I wasn't really up for driving up there at that point anyway. Despite being so tired all day/night, I didn't manage to get to sleep until after 1am. On the plus side, I was able to listen to my new song a bunch, and Lady Miss Friday even briefly curled up next to my head on the pillow. I'm calling the night a win.
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Happened to run into Jeff and his friend as they rummaged about in the morning. Like a good lawyer, I asked the question I already knew the answer to - how's recovery? It always amazes me when people are bluntly honest, and he nonchalantly said he'd been using. I noted that I had a client coming over in the evening and they should mosey.

Texted with Austin, confirmed that I'd be free in the evening, and I would text him around 6:30. Since we met in person, I also told him my HIV status, which he said wasn't a problem.

Worked out twice in the office, since I didn't figure I'd have time to do it in the evening. Jeff, friend, and Bryan were all awake and sitting around in a horrible mess of an apartment when I got there. Told them they needed to get gone again, ran around cleaning. I like having a vacuumed apartment, I hate vacuuming, because Lady Miss Friday hates when I vacuum. But it needed to be done. Jeff and friend left, Bryan stayed outside. Whatever. Norman was very impressed with Topher, even though he couldn't cum. Ordinarily, I'd have shot for him, but given that I was meeting with Austin later, this *constantly* happens, and Norman is getting an ever increasing deal as rates continue to rise and his back continues to degenerate.

Topher left for his meeting, Norman took off, I texted Austin, asking how his intervening 5 hours had been. Boring, he'd just jerked off a bunch. Oh...okay? He asked me to pick him up, so I did. He's living with his sister, and came out in pajamas. We rolled around on the bed some, but he doesn't want to have sex with a positive person without a condom. Which is the sort of thing he should probably have noted when I told him I was positive. I was too tired to keep a hard on with a condom, and he'd jerked off too many times. He wanted to watch my porn, but quickly got bored. He has ADHD, or something, because everything was like that. We finally connected about music in the car on the ride back, but it was so late by then I had to cut it short.
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Bryan, Jeff, and other random couch guy were all still sleeping when I woke up, which likely says something else they all have in common. I got a message from Tim during the day - his dad had a stroke and was in a coma. He also still needs a check for $179, but should be the last one he needs, for really reals this time.

Austin, the 21 y/o with the kind eyes from Saturday night, had started messaging me on Tuesday, and messaged me again today. I begged off, just given how exhausted I was.

Hit the gym after work, and given everything he's going through, let Tim and Pupple come over. He talked about his dad. He finally left a little after 10, and then called back 10 min later. His dad died. I sat in his car with Pupple while he talked more, but thank god he didn't try to hug me. The only kind of awkward part was when he said I knew what he was going through, since I went through it with my own dad. Not really? My dad lived a good life. He was a homeowner, held on long enough to get my mum some extra benefits, and got to see me become a lawyer, albeit not an employed one. The closest I've come to really grieving someone was Mousey, and that was largely influenced by guilt.
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Worked out in my office, sent Bryan a message about his budgeting form. And got my test results back - negative for everything! Go me. When I got home, though, Bryan, Jeff, and some other guy were all crashed out in my living room, junk food everywhere. I just stood there for a minute before gathering my stuff and going to the gym.

Tim asked to come over, but I didn't feel comfortable having him over with my apartment in the state that it was. When I got back, Jeff and his friend had switched places on the couch, and I was confused enough for a minute to think that neither of them was Jeff. Which was a weird thought.
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Woke up crazy early, got into my toy chest again even though I was still sore, but did manage to get back to sleep, finally. Woke Dave up with a blow and rim job, we jerked off together, then I dropped him off at the airport and headed into work.

As you might expect, it was a really long day, but I got some work done, and worked on SWoRN stuff. As always, I know the right words are out there but I have such a hard time finding them. I asked Tim for help on developing the questions I'm going to ask the models, but he never got back to me. So hard to get good free help these days.
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Since I'd been trying unsuccessfully to connect with Bryan all weekend, I invited him over for breakfast, and Tim joined as well. I put on the Broadway: NOW video for them, which I hadn't even seen most of (all the parts without me I hadn't seen). Bryan decided to walk to the store for an additional bottle of booze, which gave me time to get cleaned up before the party. I got our Lyft there, which only seemed fair since Bryan provided the invite itself. At the last minute, I decided against my slutty suit, but couldn't find the replacement I was going for, so I ended up wearing it anyway.

It was a very calm, mixed party, for the most part. I talked some with Kyle, who I hadn't seen in person since we went to brunch/fucked. Also to Kevin, who I hadn't seen since Palm Springs. He'd gone to the party the night before, which was largely a bust. Also, he's single now. Chatted with Lee and Coleman, and with Ryan. Made friends with some new guys, Mark and Jake, and ended up having a mini 4 way with them, Ryan, and Aaron in the bathroom. They were kind enough to give us a ride home after, Dave and I stayed up way too late fucking, and I was randy/drunk enough to get into my toy chest, which I rarely do with a partner there.


Jun. 10th, 2017 07:25 am
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Made coffee for us in the morning, tried to find 1) friends to take Dave around while I was at rehearsal and 2) a towel for Dave. A few bowls and a lot of towels seem to be missing. Occam's Razor says my house guests are running a black market towel and bowl ring out of my apartment. Clearly.

Sean and Dragos were going to Out at the Fair, but leaving "in 10 minutes." 45 min later, Dave had decided to go to the Zoo and I was still talking to them. Poor Dragos burned his butt a few weeks back, and even though he mostly tops, he's not willing to go or do anything explicitly gay until it heals. Poor guy.

I dropped Dave off at the Zoo, then headed over to Point Loma for rehearsal. Even though I was 5 min late, they hadn't started yet. First up was Express This Way, which I'd declined the part of Lady Gaga for, as it would've required me to shave my beard. I almost asked to be in the Express Yourself half of the group, too, but amazingly, I'm actually happier with the choreo in Born This Way. Parts of it are goofy, of course, but it's actually fairly sassy.

On the break between them, I walked to a couple thrift stores, but couldn't find any towels at all, and no bowls I liked. There was some other stuff I could've bought, but I'm working on spending and getting less right now, not more.

Even with that, I got back early. Charles was teaching a Latin piece to Bryce and Chris, and decided to teach it to me as well. It was largely easy, though there were a couple of complicated timing bits. I was delighted at how quickly I'd been picking up choreo all day. We taped it twice - Charles actually forgot a small bit of it for the first one, but I reminded him and we taped it again.

Keith said he might need some help with one section of "Raise Your Glass," which I'm happy to help with if he doesn't mind a bunch of sassy ingenues on stage. It turns out that by "one section," though, he meant almost the whole song. I reminded myself that I was just tired from rehearsing for 3 hrs already, and it would do no one any good to pitch a fit here. I'm not even upset at it being a "collaborative" piece. I just find it incredibly upsetting to have that sprung on us.

Finally done, I headed home and waited for Dave, who I figured would surely be done any minute, maybe even needing a ride. I dozed briefly with Lady Miss Friday, and when I checked my phone again, he said he was going to be back around 7ish. Not a problem for me. We charged his phone, I made him dinner, had a pre-drink or two and tried to wrangle the boys. Bryan was trying for The Eagle again, but I didn't really want to drive or Lyft over there. Ryan Newell et al were finishing at Betty's, and now at Flick's, so that became the plan.

I bought our first round, Shazamed a song, finally found Ryan. He was surrounded by some not-very-friendly folks, but I still won them over. I ended up making out with a 21 y/o with kind eyes, but in my tipsy haze, decided I couldn't trust him. Also, that whole being with Dave thing.

Ryan et al were going to Rich's, so Dave got us an Uber Pool over to PECS. Except that our driver forgot to pick up the other passenger, and she threw an absolute fit. Threatening to get him fired, her dad is a big deal. Shit was straight out of a movie. We finally got to PECS, but my memory is a little fuzzy. I remember seeing Chad, Paul, Tim, etc., but not anything I said to any of them.

We walked home after a drink, and somehow I decided to relive that horrible video of the momma otter and the killer whales over and over and over. I think someone had talked about otters at the bar, and them being apex predators. Not for killer whales, they're not.


Jun. 9th, 2017 08:06 am
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I was a complete zombie at work, but had so much to do. We started a legal research group at work, presumably in response to many of us (could've been just me, IDK) noting that we're largely glorified admin. Lynelle is heading up the group, and working to find ways to make the research we do valuable to more than just us - ways it can help the staff attorneys, as well. It's in addition to our normal work, entirely optional, but very valuable. Lynelle really does go above and beyond to try to make our jobs something we like. It's going to make me feel slightly guilty for leaving, if I can ever manage that, but 1) not that guilty and 2) she absolutely wants us to pursue our passions and be happy.

Since I have so many side projects, I hadn't managed much on the research portion, so I spent a large part of the day trying to get as far as I could. I still only got 5 sections done, and nearly panicked and canceled the whole thing. Several times. Not to worry, though, as no one was completely finished, and Din got even less done than I did. Stayed an extra half hour getting mail and claims tagged, still had to leave some stuff. It's enough.

I stopped at the gym on the way home for what seemed to be the shortest workout ever, but turned out to be an hour. Better than nothing.

Dave was supposed to get done with his stuff around 7, which unfortunately didn't leave me with enough time to nap, but I did lay down with Lady Miss Friday. He didn't end up finishing until about 8, so I really could have. Oh well.

I picked him up from the Hilton out there - a large confusing complex that of course charges for parking, but at least has 3 minute passenger loading. Met his sister, too, who is lovely. Invited her to brunch, but she doesn't think she'll be able to make it.

Bryan was at Flicks, planning on The Eagle later. I was very upfront with Dave that I didn't think I'd make it out at all. In addition to being exhausted, I'm trying (with mixed success) to avoid bottoming, and why even go into that cupcake shop? I was more than happy to set him up with my friends to go out with, though. Wouldn't even be upset if he fucked around without me.

Tim came by with Pupple - he and Dave get along quite well. I poured some wine for Dave and he decided not to go out either. We laid down and of course ended up fucking anyway.
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McEwen messaged me in the morning; he'd brought home a drifter on Tuesday night after drinking heavily and ditching his friends, they'd smoked weed, and the drifter had stolen his keys and Gameboy. Also possibly his cash, but he might have also spent that, he's not sure. This is the second time in less than 7 days that he's had tragedy from drinking to blackout, and I noted that. He wanted to use my AAA to get into his car and see if he has a spare, so I told him I'd call them after my appointment.

Earlier in the week, I'd tried to schedule a doctor's appointment. Largely just due for STD screening, but also figured I'd see if there's anything stronger for my ass and see what's up with my possible anemia, too. They'd scheduled it for 4, so I called to see if they had anything later. No, but there's like, and hour on Monday and Thursday evenings for walk ins. I'd initially agreed to that, but then Bryan needed to get groceries, Christina wanted to meet for lunch, and I will never ever ever use all of my sick time, so I called back the next day to see if the appointment was still available. It wasn't available, but only because the first girl had never canceled it. I guess.

Stayed on task through the morning, but then Christina said she wasn't able to make lunch. Got home and while Bryan wasn't there, my pharmacy delivery guy, Frederico, was sitting in his car. Copay needed on some meds, and they only take cash or check. He came in while I wrote the check, then I blew him. If I'd just gotten home earlier and had a chance to get cleaned up, we could've gone with the full porn scene. But then, I'm also trying to take a break from bottoming, so....

Bryan still wasn't home, so I laid down with Lady Miss Friday. She even put her head on my leg, so I was naturally tempted to cancel my appointment anyway. Bryan did come home just before I left, but I guess he already went grocery shopping, which suits me fine.

Found parking, waited for the doc. Noel is a neighbor of mine...and come to think of it now, I might have had sex with him, I'm just not certain. He's also a doctor, and doctor enough to have people training under him. As always, I put everyone at ease by cracking jokes and being quite blunt about my extra curriculars. There isn't much to be done about my butt, but they ordered labs and prescribed something hopefully stronger. We'll see what happens.

Couldn't remember what I needed for groceries, so I just got the essentials of tofu and meatballs and vodka. Also some toothpaste and other household things. Nearly $100, which...I guess. Also got a text from a guy I played with a month ago that he popped positive for gonorrhea & chlamydia, which would have been better to hear before my doctor's appointment. Finally tried to get AAA via the web, but that didn't work, so I drove over to Matt. It's actually good I didn't get there sooner, because he lives by the hospital, and it's permit only until 7pm. I'm not sure where he expected me to park when he called. The tow truck guy was really nice. Opened the door, told McEwen to make sure all the other doors were unlocked, then got on his way. Naturally, McEwen didn't, the door closed and he had to run after the tow truck. Nice guy that he was, the tow operator opened the door again without dinging my AAA a second time.

Tim asked to come by with Pupple, I told Bryan I'd meet him at Brick for his birthday, tired as I was. We walked over there, I caught up with Jon Paul and Rashid, chatted briefly with a slightly squeaked Drew, but then left shortly after McMann et al showed up.


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