May. 18th, 2017

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For all that we were short 3 people the day before, I think I was actually just as busy, due to sheer volume of mail. And that soreness I'd been anticipating touched down with a vengeance. I had my monthly meeting, which was 90% chatting, and that mostly done by Lynelle. Her daughter's graduation is coming up, and her older sister's birthday before that, and she's a major part of the planning for both.

Messaged back and forth with Dave, much more cordially than the day before. He filed the dissolution paperwork, got refunds for our donors. I emailed Christina to ask about the kid I'd done work for last week, but didn't hear back.

Norman was the first to text me - he was in urgent care for his back, and was not likely to be able to make our session later. I feel awful for Michael, because this is the second time I've gotten him work, only to have to retract the offer.

Scott messaged me a little later, having finished his errands, but I was still at work. When I finally did leave, I meant to swing by the store on my way. Kenneth messaged me, wanting company for going out to dinner. I'm not a big fan of going out to dinner, honestly, unless it's for work. And I'm much less of a fan when one or both of us is strapped for cash, and both Kenneth and I are. Laid down for about an hour instead, then texted Scott to see what time he wanted to come over. Whatever he was planning with John had been pushed back, but he'd be free after dinner, say around 9:30 or so. That's not remotely what we talked about, so he tried to reschedule for the weekend, but I'm in PS.

I thought about asking Warren to come over, or else seeing if Kenneth was still free, but that always feels empty. I see people all the time online "hey, plans fell through, who's free?" But I've never been able to be them. I'm a busy enough person that one set of plans failing is usually more a reprieve than a void, but when all of them fall through, I find myself exhausted.

I thought about going grocery shopping, but didn't trust myself to stick to good food and didn't want to risk it with the shoots coming up. I browsed the web serial I had been reading, scrolling past whole pages at a time. This particular section is about a bunch of superpowered serial killers who made hundreds of clones of themselves. The heroes barely beat them the first time. It's getting boring at this point, that there are constant massive, impossible threats but they keep pulling through.

Jeff came in a little after 10:30, I brushed my teeth, took a melatonin and went to bed.
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I’d anticipated being very sore and very tired, given my going back to the gym for the first time in forever, but I was neither. Kathy, Din, and Lindsay were all out sick at work, but I bulldozed through that too. And worked out somewhere over 4 times in my office. On the down side of things, Dave was back to being a cantankerous old man. He wants 5k for his half of the business, and got *very* angry that other people are questioning that valuation. I am dumb, and don’t have a signed copy of our partnership agreement, so we default to standard LLC rules, which puts us at a stalemate. For 5k, of course, one could do all of this and more. Dave is really just wanting to make sure no one profits off all the work he did. Which is both understandable and kind of a dick move.

Bryan wasn’t home when I got there; I imagine he’s spending time at a friend’s closer to work while he gets his transportation figured out. I laid down with Lady Miss Friday, chatted with Warren a little. He jerks off 7-12 times a day, which of course has me out of my mind with envy. I almost fell asleep, but 1) that would have fucked up my sleep schedule, and 2) dance auditions for the new show were at the church at 7:30. I was going to be early, but cleaned up a little more at home and was just on time instead.

None of the better dancers from the last show were there, I imagine because they all took Joe up on his offer to not go to an audition. It was still a very full crowd – over 20 people cramming into the front of a church trying to learn choreo. Charles’ number was to “Just Fine” by Mary J Blige, and quite the sassy little jazz piece. It was fine, and I did fine at it, until the break. Counterintuitively, resting during an audition usually puts me in a haze and I can’t remember anything. I did alright, just not as good as the girl there. Keith showed up and gave us a relatively simple number that I still couldn’t keep in my head. Among the 5,000,000 other things I need to do, I really want to go to more mock auditions. Get to class already warmed up, learn and perform routines until you can't think anymore, rinse and repeat.


Warren asked me for a video, so even though I was tired, I jerked off and made one for him. Not a very good one, but a video nonetheless, and using my smaller toys to gauge things, I can relax a little about this weekend.

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